BOUND BY TIME

In a casual conversation with a friend, she commented, “Keith and Mika’s (names have been changed) relationship is still going strong after all these years huh?” I thought for a while and replied, “They’re very lucky to have found each other at the right time in their lives.”

We always say that there’s a time for everything, and more often than not do we stumble upon the unfortunate event of being at the right place, at the wrong time.

I think a lot of things in life are really matters of time – that crash you evaded because you overslept and missed your flight. That last full-time hire position you missed because you came in to the company a day after the guy who got it. That home you tied your stomach to purchase only to have a better deal open up the next day. That relationship you let slip because you were impatient, only to find that you’re still wanting it after three years and that person has long moved on.

Everything is bound to the hands of time.

If you didn’t already know, Mr. Bentley and I were high school friends. We were the closest sorts of friends who’d do crazy stuff for and with each other. We were each others’ crush. He asked me to prom, I agreed. But we were never an item. I didn’t want to start college alone, so I asked him to come with me when he actually had plans to enrol a semester later. We were still each others’ crush then, until someone pursued me and I decided to go with it. We hardly spoke shortly after that phase. He went to South Adelaide for studies and I was here, and it was the occasional exchange of MSN chats that still determined we were friends, if at all.

It was only after what was about eight years after high school that we got in touch again. And became an item, we did. But perhaps, it was a bit too late.

You see, while everyone chased their college dreams and grades, I did too but I was working part time as well. And immediately after college, I started working full time in that company I was part-timing at, while everyone else was still fumbling for jobs or even bumming around for a month or two. And by the time most people were settling in to their jobs, I was already in my fourth year with the company. Everything moved really fast for me. Too fast, in fact.

But for Mr. Bentley on the other hand, he has met with quite a few bumps and roadblocks on his journey to this current job. While it’s never ever to late to build a career, settling into one at this stage does take its toll on a lot of other things, I suppose. And this is where we suffer. Our relationship takes a backseat for an indefinite period of time while everything else moves pass us, pass me. 

Time. Time was never on our side. I don’t even know what I’d do differently if I could turn back time, to be honest. I do however, wish I was blessed with good time. I wasted three years of my life trying to bounce back from a horrid relationship, and then close to seven years to only realise that I didn’t want to go down a certain road yet, and now close to three years of building my life around someone to only have to spend, perhaps double or triple that amount of time erasing it. I can’t help but feel like this is a sick joke of some sort. Maybe one that I  brought upon myself, or….I don’t know.

But time, it truly defines a lot of things in life. Lies get revealed. Hearts rust with it. Lives get created. Careers climb or crumble with it. Friendships fall apart or seal with it. Life and death is determined by it. Everything is absolutely bound to the hands of time.

You don’t regret things, really. Instead, what we actually regret is the time of it.

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